To Jump Or Not To Jump?

Yet again my erratic working life has put Yantsu on hold. I really want to take part in NanoWriMo again this year but I must have the first draft of Yantsu finished before then. Starting Broken Bonds before I’d finished Sanchin turned out to be a disaster of epic proportions and I’m not willing to make that mistake again.

I figure that if I can just discipline myself to sit down and work on my own projects then I won’t have to work on other people’s so I wouldn’t be working away so much. Less time travelling and living away from home means more time to write.

Ha! If only it was as easy as self-discipline. I’ve always used that as my excuse but, in reality, my unwillingness to drop the work I do for others has more to do with my fear of relying solely on myself to make a decent living. It’s not my writing I don’t have faith in, it’s my ability to sell my work.

Right now, I’m working on other people’s web sites. They take all the financial risks, if the site doesn’t make money they still have to pay for hosting, domain name registration, auto responders and all the other things that go with running a website.

I, on the other hand, write the content and get paid for it regardless of what the site does. The thing is, the sites are doing well. And since I’m a firm believer that it”s good keyword focussed content that determines a web site’s success or failure, why am I not doing it for myself?

Why are my own web sites languishing, unseen, on page 4 or 5 of Google and only being updated once in a blue moon, while I’m earning a fraction of what the sites I’m essentially running for other people are making? As I said, I’ve always blamed it on a lack of self-discipline and a lack of time but the truth is I’m terrified that I won’t make enough money relying entirely on myself.

Sanchin is still doing well with a steady trickle of sales. I’m not going to be able to retire on the royalties, but considering I’m currently doing no promotion at all, I’m pleased with the way it’s going.

My own web sites have the potential to make good money if I actually add some content to them and I also have several non-fiction projects in the pipeline. So, do I quit the paying gigs or not? I could keep the ones that I do from home but the one where I go away involves PA work as well as writing for and designing web sites, and that is where the bulk of the money comes from. That’s the one that would really free up the time for working on my own projects but it will also be a huge drop in income until I get up and running. Oh the dilamma.

Maybe I need to work on my self-confidence before I take the leap.