The Good, the Bad and the Psychotic Toilet

I’ll save the good until the end of this post. I like to think of positive things in the evenings, it helps me to sleep better and I’ve heard it sets the tone for the next day. Though, if that’s true, I dread to think what I was thinking about last night.

I got less than 4 hours sleep. I know this because I checked the clock on my cell phone every time I woke up. This morning I dragged myself out of bed, dodged the hairball one of the cats had kindly deposited in the middle of the hall carpet and proceeded to the bathroom.

With the ablutions taken care of I cleaned the carpet and fed the cats, all the while repeating my little mantra about how smoothly my day was going to go. By the time I’d filled the kettle, I almost believed it.

Then the toilet exploded.

I’d just tipped a good measure of coffee into my favourite mug when there was an almighty bang followed by the sound of gushing water. My first thought was, Oh hell, I hope the cats are running a bath! They weren’t.

By the time I got to the bathroom there was water bubbling out from under the cistern lid and the toilet bowl reminded me of Victoria Falls in the wet season.

I shot back into the kitchen and tried to turn the water off. Nothing happened! The stopcock was jammed solid.

By now I had two cats trying to join me in the cupboard under the sink in an effort to escape the mayhem that was the bathroom. Despite the chaos, my brain still functioned well enough to remember where the main stopcock was in the garden.

With the water safely turned off, I decided to get my priorities right and have my morning coffee before calling a plumber. It wasn’t yet 8am anyway.

Halfway through the coffee it dawned on me that, with no functioning toilet, perhaps caffeine was a bad idea. I abandoned my drink and called the plumber. He was busy but said he could do the job sometime during the day if I could wait in.

Thank heavens for that. Several coffeeless hours and £45,00 later the bathroom was restored to normality and I had my water back on.

The bad news is that I now have to fit the research I was supposed to do today into half a day tomorrow. Along with another load of research that also involves a lot of running around.

On the positive side, at least I’ll be getting some exercise.

The good news is I managed to write today. Quite a lot. It’s not great writing, in fact parts of it border on abysmal, but at least the words are coming again and I’m getting reacquainted with my characters.

The other good thing is I didn’t have to go out  in the pouring rain and Arctic wind.

Let’s hope for better weather and well behaved bathrooms tomorrow.

3 thoughts on “The Good, the Bad and the Psychotic Toilet”

  1. Mark van Rensburg says:

    OMG I bet that was fun. I laughed so much I snorted coffee out of my nose. I can just picture you half in a cupboard with two cats while the toilet’s busy flooding the bathroom.

  2. Emil says:

    Then the toilet exploded … that’s the funniest sentence I read in a long time 😉

  3. Karen says:

    Thanks for the comments guys. Yes, it does seem rather funny looking back on it but, at the time, it was a pretty scary experience.

    The bathroom carpet is still damp in places but we now have some fancy water saving ballcock 😀

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