OMG I’m an Addict!

I confess. I am a caffeineoholic!

And no, I didn’t make that word up. There are a whole 73 hits for it on Google, though they do suggest I might have been searching for coffeeaholic.

I wasn’t Google, really, I wasn’t. And if I had been I would have searched for coffeeholic anyway. But I digress.

This year I decided to clean up my act in time for the November madness that is NaNoWriMo. I gave up the coffee and the chocolate, promised myself more sleep and was determined to get more exercise.

In fact, I decided to give up all the bad habits which, in previous years, have turned me into a malnourished, caffeine crazed maniac by the middle of the month. And, I’m pleased to say, I stuck to my guns and I did it. Well, except for the more sleep part.

Anyway, the more sleep part has been bugging me for ages. I haven’t slept well for weeks. And today I discovered why.

Oh my, this is almost too embarrassing to admit. But then no one but friends, family, robots trying to sell me prescription drugs on the cheap, and the occasional real person who will probably never actually meet me reads this blog anyway, so here goes.

A while ago (around about the time I swapped the coffee for Rooibos tea) I discovered a can in the soft drinks section of the local supermarket with such fancy writing on it that I couldn’t resist trying it.

It said around the top of the can 50% fruit juice. Bonus, I thought, I can count it towards the recommended 5 portions of fruit and veg a day. Okay, half of it anyway. I mean, come on, if a tin of spaghetti hoops counts…

Well, this afternoon after my disastrous trip to town (more on that later) I finally deciphered the fancy writing and discovered the name of my new-found favourite fruit drink. Relentless!

I also read the label.

Caffeine – 32mg/100ml!!! And this is a 500ml can. Not only that, this stuff also contains 58% – yes 58, more than half – of my recommended daily allowance of sugar.

And here I am, all self-righteous about having given up my coffee. Not to mention the times I’ve said on martial arts discussion boards, “Energy drinks? Nah, I’ll never touch those things. It’s all hype.”

Hmm, but it sure tastes good. Feels that way too, but I think I’d better revert to the coffee.

Anyway, just in case you were worried (ha ha, as if), here’s the abridged version of that town trip from hell.

As usual, I was away with the fairies on the bus – which was running twenty minutes late. Normally this doesn’t matter as I get off at the bus station. Today I wanted to take a short cut to somewhere else but, by the time I returned to planet Keighley, I thought I’d missed my stop.

I hit the button and the poor bus driver screeched to a halt at the stop we were already alongside. In the unlikely event you ever get to read this, my sincere apologies. But if it makes you feel better I got off the bus a good half a mile before the stop I actually wanted. So much for the short cut.

Town was relatively empty and I began to think my attempts to psychically influence the masses to stay at home on account of the weather had worked.

At one point town was so empty that I began to wonder if the masses knew something I didn’t and paranoia set it. You know, that whole, what if there’s been a bomb scare, or what if the world’s about to end kind of thing.

It wasn’t, of course. Oh no, nothing as simple as that. The masses were in the supermarket. All of them. And not just any supermarket, but the one I had just entered.

I shall say no more about my supermarket experience or this blog entry may decend into a self-indulgent whine fest. Suffice to say I didn’t get everything I needed and another town trip has been pencilled in for Wednesday. Oh joy.

On the plus side, it didn’t snow while I was out and, having raided the shopping while waiting for the bus, I discovered that I really, really like tomato bhajis.